Rough Times..

The last few weeks we had a rough time. Let me just say it is a time of my life that I will not forget. You know all of these times that I thought I had a good excuse for not updating my blog as often; forget it this time I have a real excuse. The fact that our two lap tops were stolen will be a good place to start. Last week someone decide to break into our house turn everything upside down and I mean upside down. They even flipped the bed in our room and pulled everything from the cabinets into the ground and took all our gold including my wedding ring and all the things that was given to me that were gold, the two laptops that we had everything on and the bag for camping. So I have been doing a lot of cleaning; and laundry is coming out of my ears “it is a say in Arabic meaning a lot of it”.

It is good I waited until the house is cleaned up and things are back in order to update my blog or I would have start by cursing in all the languages that I know and don’t know. But with time I calmed down and been able to count my blessing mainly that the girls are fine. The other thing is that they left Pepper “our dog” alone. Actually the only place that they did not turn upside down was the kitchen because he was there. God knows, that is something the girls would have not been able to handle having something happen to him. We been talking a lot with the girls and I cleaned up everything in their room and I even got Yasmeen new sheets for her bedroom and organized Nadia’s room with the little things on her disk that she likes. They are dealing with it really well and life is almost back to normal.

I try to convince myself that what is gone is gone and there is no point for me to keep dwelling on it but let me tell you it is not what the stuff worth even thought it was a lot, it is all the memories with every little thing that I am so mad about. Even though I am learning to deal with things better as I am realizing that memories are not only associated with things. My whole being is consist of the people that I love. The people that I wake up thinking of go to sleeping wondering how they are doing smiling every time I think of something we have done together is something no one can take from me. Few days ago I was really having a hard time and I went to the shower and had one of my flip flop turned side up and I reached out to turn it and thought of a story a friend of mine told me a while ago of being in the shower and trying to turn the flip flop to the other side and got hurt as in the middle east it is bad luck to keep it facing up. I remember going home and finding mom in bed not feeling well and telling her that story which made her laugh so hard so I found myself laughing as I continue to take my shower and made me forget about everything that was in my mind. Talking to my sisters and family makes me realize that I have so much to be thankful for as I can feel their love all the time.

There are few places that I walk in the holyland that I feel the presence of my parents. I understand now the reason my father would pick a sertain plants to plant on our yard or our villege home the color that he picked for our home. I see all these things around me here all the time. No I understand that he was trying to create the kind of things that made him feel at home and it is here where he felt at home. The sertain fruits that my mom loved the sweets that she would make or enjoy to go to the Arab restaurant and eat. Everything here is so intense and things happen all the time.

Being here close to the Shrines and being able to say prayers inside the Shrines had helped me so much. At the same times I been watching the news and following what is going on in the world it just makes my heart ache. How could we allow so much suffering how could any human inflict so much suffering unto other. I am very thankful for being a Baha’i sometimes I think that it would have been so hard for me to deal with things if I was not. As being Baha’i gives me the hope that we as humanity will be fine that our soul will continue to progress that we will learn to live together and see each other as flowers of one garden. It is so sad though to think what a high price we as a human nation have to pay for learning.

Some times I feel like I am in another planet as being around all these amazing people that are serving here and are so focused so dedicated to working for the betterment of the world. Yet having those thieves doing what they have done to our home, invade someone’s privacy and have such a negative impact on the kids is just unbelievable. The amount of poverty in this county is so large the depression that you see some times in people’s faces is scary. I can write forever about how I feel but I can just see Rosa saying.. Fact what else is going on with you and the girls.. So, I will get back to updates..

In between everything else we had couple of earth quakes. One was late at night very small and one was in the middle of the day while the kids were at school. I felt the roof moving, the walls shaking and then few minutes later phone rang Yasmeen called to tell me that they are doing fine and they were under their chairs but now they are good. Other than that we been doing great the girls Arabic is improving a lot and they are doing well in school. I am still loving my work even though I had to work less hours as I been catching up with things at home and not having lap top I can’t work much on things at night. Naim is borrowing a lap top from a friend so I am trying to update you all and explain why I have not writing or responding to many email. So many thing in my mind and so many things happen here all the times it is impossible to give you a clear picture but one thing I can tell you that despite everything there is so much good. Just walking on Mount Carmel at the Shrine area or walking in Bahji or just around the city of Akka gives a new understanding and a feeling that I have never had any where else. You can see that I am still me, my thoughts are all over the place and still trying to understand myself and the world around me and for those that I love.. my love for you continue to grow…